Kappa Kappa Mommy

Last week I stumbled on to a few local stay-at-home-Mom (SAHM) groups. http://sahm.meetup.com/75/?gj=sj3

Apparently they arrange play dates, outings, discuss relevant topics on message boards, schedule mom nights out - and pretty much everything wonderful for the SAHM who needs to get out and talk to other adults once in awhile! I created a username and password and signed up for a play date at one of the local mall play areas. I was very excited to meet other SAHMS in the area and even more excited for Lauren to get a chance to play with other kids her age. (She needs a little practice with sharing).

Well, the morning of the play date came and Lauren had a runny nose. Now - she wasn't SICK...but she had a runny nose. No fever, no discoloration of the stuff coming out of her nose, no behavior indicating that she didn't feel good....JUST a runny nose. Now, if I had something scheduled with people I already knew - I wouldn't have questioned myself on whether or not I should take her out with a runny nose. BUT...since this was our first time meeting the other Moms, I thought I'd be extra cautious. So, I posted the question to the message board. I explained that she just had a bit of a runny nose and because I was new I didn't know if the group was pretty laid back, or if they would prefer we stay home. Well, the first two replies where what I expected. One said something like "Who DOESN'T have a runny nose this time of year - bring her." And one post directed me to the group's sick child guidelines http://files.meetup.com/135312/Sick%20Child%20Guidelines.doc which I reviewed and determined we were good to go.

When we arrived at the mall, I also made sure to let the other Moms that were there at the time know about her sniffles and offered that we would leave if anyone was uncomfortable. No problems - the Moms were laid back and very nice and welcoming to us. We stayed for over an hour and had a wonderful time.

And THEN...when I returned home, I went back online to look for more upcoming outings and to my HORROR I found more posts. Mean, insensitive, unwelcoming and ignorant posts. Here's my favorite that almost made me cry.

Ok, fair warning here-I'm on my soapbox. Is there a reason you would purposely expose other kids to your child's cold????? How would you feel if someone did that to your child? Does any parent really want a snot covered toy passed to their child? Personally I am quite surprised anyone would suggest to take a sick child to a playdate to intentionally infect all the other kids and adults--especially a playdate with babies where they handle everything and put everything in their mouths.

Ok, now I'll settle down a little bit. My son has compromised immunity so he picks up every bug there is, the illness lasts forever, and we always end up with fun things like hospital stays etc. all from a simple cold. It just makes me crazy when people purposely take a sick child out to an area where they can affect so many other kids. It's very rude to other parents and children. Think of how much less sick we all would be if people would stay home when they are sick instead of spreading it around. So now you know why I am such a zealot about the whole sick kid thing. Please let me clarify-snot is snot. Doesn't matter what color it is. Snot equals cold which equals contagious-regardless of color. Common misconception.

In small cases clear snot may mean allergies but many, many times parents will say allergies as an excuse when they know full well their child has a cold. Or a parent may think their child has allergies when they really just have frequent minor colds. So just my 2 cents. Please don't anyone bash me or think me terrible-I'm understandably a freak about sickness. Sorry to be a bummer.

HARSH! Wow - I'm great at making new friends I guess. Now - keep in mind - I have no idea who this Mom is - she wasn't at the play date. Neither was anyone else who left a nasty opinion. And a few of the Mom's who WERE there either posted in my defense or sent me a nice email.

So I was thinking of joining one of the other local groups instead - but when I clicked on the "Des Moines West Side Hip Mamas Meetup Group," I learned that you need to submit your name, where you live, a little about yourself and why you want to join the group and THEN they will decide if you are accepted or declined. Holy Kappa Kappa Mommy! Not interested in rush. Visions of questions like race and income-level danced through my head. I am hoping it isn't as bad as it sounds - but again - not a great first impression.

So, I'm sticking with the original two groups I joined and kept Lauren home today instead of going to Kindermusik as we we had planned. I didn't want anyone burning me and my slightly sniffly daughter at the stake and chasing us out of the building with their baby morraccas.

Before it turned ugly on the message boards though, here are a few pictures I snapped at the play date. As you can see - Lauren was having a BLAST, so a little Wysteria Lane action was worth it.